if only

Sometimes i wonder- what if i could take on your pain as my own?
if it's still being felt does it count in the cosmic book?

why does pain come more to those who it more greatly debilitates?
i wouldnt be missing so much life if it was me.

i deserve it more
why?

why cant i take some of it off your back to ease just a little.
why cant there be any words to soothe, or give hope?
why cant you feel what is in my heart.

it is all for you
i wish you could know how i love.
deep inside is my love for you
i wish you could know

if you could feel it
there would be no doubt
no question
no motive
to stop running

no reason
no thought
to find fault

no hate
no fear
no "i cant"s

if i could take it i would.
from the deepest of me
to take more than you have
so you could be even more
if only i could

I Am

This song speaks to me more than I thought it would. This album of Kirk's is called 'Hello Fear' and I don't know about you, but fear causes me to miss out on a lot of God's blessings in my life. This album is about confronting the fear, and this song specifically is about the journey from realizing that I am a sinner but GOD can make me a winner! Through him I have no reason to fear. " I am so far from perfect, I thought life was worthless! Until you showed me who I am, not here by mistake, NO LUCK ONLY GRACE!" Wow, I just encourage everyone to listen to this song and read the words and just really appreciate where you came from even if you "grew up in church" you still had that day when you realized how serious this is and you felt broken and ready to be re-molded by God's hand, not yours. God Bless you all, too many words would need to be said to fully explain how this speaks to me. Let it speak to you now

~
~~
~~~

To the nobodies, to the abandoned

Who couldn't see in the pain was a plan

Looking back now Lord I can say thank you

Now let me tell you who I am

How do you do?

I am a sinner

Born into sin and shaped in iniquity

Now I believe not who I was but still not what I shall be

You found me and gave me your name and

Things I desired have changed but

Inside you'll see it's still broken pieces

Deep in me reaches for you (hello)

How do you do?

I am a beggar (that means I'm)

Desperate for more

I hunger for your truth

See I am shattered

Though I may fall still you make all things new

You speak, the storm, it obeys and gone is the weight of mistakes and

Though I still feel you continue to heal, look close, and see (whoa)

[Chorus:]

I am so far from perfect

I thought life was worthless

Until you showed me who I am

Not here by mistake

No luck, only grace

I'm on my way to

Who I am (not who I was), I am (forgiven and loved)

I am (healed by your blood), I am (yes)

Thank God I am (still being changed)

I am (help me say), I am

How do you do?

I am a winner (it wasn't easy)

I've lost a few and life's knocked me to my knees

But now I am standing (hallelujah)

Not by my power, but your life inside of me (just like you, I've gone through)

Even through seasons and changes (no tear)

No tear has ever been wasted

Misunderstood still it worked for my good

look now and see

I am not the old me but still

(I am not the old me but still)

[Chorus:]

I am (I am) so far from perfect

I thought life was worthless

Until you showed me who I am (don't forget you're)

Not here by mistake (yes)

No luck, only grace

I'm on my way to

Who I am (now called your son), I am (forgiven for what I've done)

I am (forgiven for what I've done), I am (yes)

Thank God I am (sealed by your grace)

I am (still here, help me say), I am

[Bridge:]

Here and I'm closer, praise now is stronger

Stood up to fear, by faith I'm still here

Couldn't walk away, love said not today

Times haven't seen what God has for me

The hurt and the lies, through the pain, through the night

Cried and I cried but still I survived

[Chorus:]

I am so far from perfect

I thought life was worthless (yes God)

Until you showed me who I am (I am)

Not here by mistake

No luck, only grace

I'm on my way to

Who I am (and all of you), I am (I'm in love with you)

I am (here to worship you), I am (Jesus)

Thank God I am (ready to be closer)

I am (ready to go higher), I am

[Chorus:]

I am so far from perfect (so far)

I thought life was worthless (yes)

Until you showed me who I am (but you showed me)

Not here by mistake (thank you)

No luck, only grace (thank you)

I'm on my way to

Who I am (I'm not ashamed), I am (look, I'm not the same)

I am (I'm letting go of the pain), I am (yes Lord)

Thank God I am (more than what you see)

I am (not yet what I shall be), I am

Thank you

You didn't give up on me while I was still in the process

Hallelujah God that you could see what I couldn't see

Thank you

Some People

Everybody lives and everybody dies, but there are those select few who fall into the category of "some." This category has no distinct emotion attached to it, but rather a plethora of emotions. These emotions are generally strong, going in either direction, thus causing the people attached to them memorable. Most people put people into this category who have done them wrong at some point, or who have let them down. We are too easy to let them reign in our minds. Yes, the people who do wrong deserve to be remembered so we can avoid such situations, but I think the people who need to be remembered and recognized even more are those extraordinary "some" who positively change our lives.

Some people try to break up relationships out of jealousy.
Some people hate you for no reason.
Some people betray you when you thought they were close.
And then there are some people who inspire you without trying.
They un-knowingly help mold who you became.
A distant example.
A beautiful mind.
So beautiful you wonder how it is possible to be so.
Some people who are willing to help at any cost - even those who don't care for them the way they are thought to.
Some people take pride in the little things - the behind-the-scenes things.
Some people who deserve to be in the spotlight yet humbly refrain.
Some of these extraordinary people don't get what they deserve.
In fact, it seems that the worst things happen to those who never had any reason to receive such things.
These people are usually the ones taken advantage of in a friendship.
The ones who give to those who should give back but dont.
The ones who deal with the un-fair things and are still genuine.

At first, learning such things makes me angry and spiteful against those who have done the wrong, but after the anger, it only makes me admire "some" people much more. These select beautiful people will never turn sour, no matter what comes their way. "Some" people have shown me that its not about how other people see you, but knowing exactly who you are and being proud.

To "some" people - thank you.
For doing so much more than you can imagine. I may have reason now to be close to you, but before this reason you were inspiring me still. You always amazed me, your beauty, wit, intelligence, vibrancy, intuition, modesty, humility, and unconditional kindness.
For you I pray every day - that no matter the circumstance you will remember how important you are, not just to me, but to many more.
Beyond the fake people who sadly have shown their true colors recently, there are still many close and a far off who you will never know your affect.

I have said these things before - more or less - and am only saying them again because they ring true in my life every day. You know who you are and the things I feel in my heart for you are too much to express outwardly in any fashion. I only hope that you can feel the love radiating from all those who truly care, and know that a piece of that love is yours. It is part of the love you gave us, that some didn't deserve.

Some people have changed my life.
Some people will always be with me, and I with them.
Some people make a difference.

And some people are the difference.