Awake.

Why? Who knows!
but during my shouldnt-be-awake-but-still-am time I decided that I want to start blogging again!
Yay!
I do however have a new attitude towards it....to press issues, not people, and to share my thoughts, even the most random ones. :]

one thing i might say is that the band future of forestry is AWESOME!
and i love them
go check them out
credit to Cherisse DesJardins Lipps
because she definitely deserves it.... (inspired by her " Caleb and Tim-who both heard it from me. Just sayin ;) comment which she says "Ever so humbly" ;] )
how many artists do i now like thanks to that woman?
before I changed that to woman it was women...and I was about to leave it but then realized if Reese reads this (which she will because im going to post it on her wall because apparently this is about her now-which i dont mind) she would be very upset at my grammar.....even though that is the only grammatical error i chose to correct here....

arent ya glad im not a first-grader-ohio-school-goer?
id be getting F's all over this test
hey i rhymed!
wow i really must be tired haha
okay i think i just needed to feel good about my decision about blogging by posting one even though my plan to have apoint completely failed.....
goodnight

make up, jewelry, immodesty, foolery

I am a woman - but I am not only a woman. I am a lady.

I am a human - but I am not only a living vessel. I am the temple of the Living God.

And yes, He is in there right now.

God created us for this purpose alone, to be his temple, and to be a vessel of continual praise.

Hmmm? Think about it...The King of the entire universe....The most beautiful being in the heavens...He lives outside of time, outside of emotion, outside of form.

Now if that same person wanted to create something bound by millions of things He is not...don't you think he would make it beautiful and perfect on its own, needing no embellishments?

I am a woman, therefore, I have specific guidlines in which to portray myself (assuming the standards of holiness of course)

I do not wear jewelry. I do not wear make up. I do not wear immodest clothing. I do not carry myself in a loose way, nor do I act upon loose pretenses.

I do not do these things because I was told to, or it is a rule I must follow.

I do these things because they are foolish, and are outward signs of insecurity.

Women, and girls, ask yourself some questions?

1) Why do I wear make up?

2) Why do I wear jewelry?

3) Why do I dress immodestly?

4) Why do I act like trash!? (yes, I said it)

1) From personal experience and alot of observation, I have concluded that women wear make up because of a couple things:

- you think it makes you look better

- you want to match a certain stereotype, or be different

- you want to accentuate your own features

the common denominator is.....(drum roll please...)

YOU DO NOT THINK YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH WITHOUT IT!

whether it be a conscious thought or not - that's why!

2) The answer to this question is the same as #1. I can say that many a time while at the mall, I do see jewelry and think it would be nice to wear it because it is simply pretty, or interesting, BUT I do not need it.

- Did you know that before Satan was cast down into hell, he was an angel adorned with many jewels, and precious stones? He was an angel meant to reflect the Glory of God, but his pride of being so beautiful got to be too much. God cast him down when Satan no longer wanted to reflect God's glory, but thought he was beautiful enough to be better than God.

- Because of this, jewelry is seen to be a symbol of that pride (atleast how I think of it)

- The swastika never used to be bad, until it was used in relation to Hitler and the slaughtering of Jews.....would you wear a swastika? No, of course not! So why wear something that is a symbol of Lucifer's pride?

3) Oooh Boy! This is going to hit some resistance on this one. Why do girls dress immodestly?

(BTW- I would just like to say that I am not just spewing ignorance and making assumptions about why people do these things. I have had my hard times and gone through allll of these things, and have come through. I have friends that have had the same struggle. So I know. Okay- pressing forward.)

Girls dress immodestly because they want to attract attention. Now, sometimes if you have grown up out of church, the word immodest has a different definition. Even in church, modesty is a very subjective term. I personally wouldn't wear short shorts, or tank tops, but I do understand that people in the world would simply wear those because it is hot, NOT with the mindset of which I am going to explain. That is a different speech!

ANYWAY- many times, girls dress immodestly because they want to attract attention to themselves. Show off their body. Usually (and hopefully atleast) to the opposite sex. What most girls don't realize is that they don't need to do this to attract the RIGHT guys!

- You may be able to have short- term affection with the guy that responds to your immodesty. BUT the man that will love you forever and marry you, will be the one who thinks your beautiful with a burlap sack on, and most of the time, WONT want you to be immodest. I could go on FOREVER with this but thats the basic gist.

4) This answer follows the same guidlines as #3, but there is another aspect present here. Usually the immodest dressing and acting 'trashy' happen synonymously. This is, in my opinion, the saddest answer. Girls do this because they think they are not attractive enough as who they are to get attention and love. A confident woman who KNOWS she is beautiful in her own skin, will NEVER be seen dressing immodestly (according to their personal definition of immodest) and will never lower their standards of action to attract attention.

 I think girls should be confident in themselves, and have the  "If they don't like me for who I am, they aren't the kind of people I want in my life" attitude. I am NOT saying be a man-hater because no one likes that, but be confident enough to know your own standards for men, and friends.

If a boyfriend, or a friend is trying to pressure you into doing something, and keep pushing after you make your decision - they are not good friends.

The kind of people you need in your life are people that respect your beliefs and don't try to push things on you!

Your decision to do something out of free will is MUCH more profound than your decision based on fear, or force.

Bottom line - Women need to be natural and themselves, the way God made you! He did not make a mistake!! You are so beautiful to him, and I guarantee men will think the natural lady-like women are more beautiful than the opposite. (I am not talking about the pigs who just want physical affection because obviously they will not think that- but who needs to listen to them anyway?)

We are a temple for God! Keep that temple pure and holy, and spirit filled. Keep it clean so God has room to abide!

We serve a jealous God! He will not inhabit a cluttered temple!

He is big, and needs alot of room - ALL the room you can possibly offer needs to be available for HIM!!

Think about it ;]

Modest really IS hottest!!!

Holy Ghost Laughter. Why do I laugh?

Last night at youth, nearing the end, everyone was in the spirit, laughing. A young boy (Nathan) kept asking "Why are you laughing?" This really made me think....why am i laughing?

Well, at least for me, I laugh because I always think about how much people doubt God. They may not doubt consciously, but they may not believe fully that God is capable of something, or they think he wont do it. I know I've thought that before. Recently, over the past couple of days, one question has pressed on my brain.

Who are we to doubt God's power, and willingness?

"Where is the wise? where is the scribe? where is the disputer of this world? hath not God made foolish the wisdom of this world?"

- 1 Corinthians 1:20

This scripture is so true! It's like the biblical way of the saying "the more you learn the less you know."

I laugh because we try to figure God out, and predict what he will answer, heal, redeem etc. We make our conclusions based on what sins we have committed, how we live; basically, we judge ourselves the way we THINK God will judge....but like the scripture says, whenever we think we figured it out, God throws us in a whole different direction.

I laugh because we are so easy to doubt, when all we need is child-like faith in our heavenly Father and anything is possible!

Haha! It is such a wonderful feeling, knowing in your spirit that this world is only a stumbling block on our way to eternal joy! 

God created everything!

Now, if you create something.....you know how it works, how to fix it, how to predict it, how it will eventually fade away and die.

Jesus knows all this about everything we know, have known, and ever will know. We are bounded immensely by the limits of this world.

God lives outside of anything human. Our emotions don't affect how he reacts, nor do our earthly circumstances.

He has complete control over every....that's right every situation.

So why should we even have to ask for something to happen.....all we have to do is proclaim that our victory is won even before we are fully in our trial!

We proclaim that we are healed before we are sick!

We pray and conclude with 'Amen'

Amen means it is so!

it. is. so!

so whenever you pray for something, by finishing it with Amen, you are saying to God that you believe that your prayer has already been answered! God just might not tell you the answer yet. But it is answered.

God is so amazing!!! Trying to think of how amazing he is in the limits of this mind is what makes me laugh!!

He is a marvelous wonder! 

he reigns forever!

Hahaha! 

This joy that I have, the world didn't give it...

and the world can't take it away!

sometimes...

things arent as bad as they seem up front.

take a step back and see with unblinded eyes
things may not be ideal, but also may not be as terrible as they once seemed.

im seeing this now.
there is atleast some good in everything
:]

I got a praise and I gotta let it out!

4 People got the holy ghost tonight!
and a couple got a renewing after years of dormancy!!!

AND 2 of the 4 that recieved the holy ghost were baptized in Jesus Name! Hallelujah!

Praise God!
The truth will set us free!

"I've been delivered, I've been delivered
That hold the Devil had on me
He ain't got no more!
I've been delivered, I've been delivered
Delivered by the hand of the Lord!"

:]

The wonders of a golf course.

awesome Korean lady (and by korean I mean, her form of ID was a passport from the republic of Korea!) - "You look very charming"

me- "Aww thank you that's so nice of you to say!"

lady- " Where are you from?"

me - (thinks about the possibility that she could mean what country...or city?) "Uhm, right here...North Tonawanda...it's one town over." (feels like I failed, and am no longer charming)

lady- "oh, okay"

.....

oh did I mention it took me at least 5 full seconds to process what she said before I could answer because of her accent?

tough love - a bliblical principal

"He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes."

Proverbs 13: 24

the loudest defense is silent.

the greatest defense is silence

speak not, but let the actions do the work

things mightier than this world need not it's people to defend with mere words

the wise thing to do is avoid a conflict.

foolish is them that antagonize the doctrine.

for it is sound, and in no need of human defense.

the validity of anything is NEVER proven through how well people defend it.

and to expect that is foolery.

"A faithful witness will not lie: but a false witness will utter lies. A scorner seeketh wisdom, and findeth it not: but knowledge is easy unto him that understandeth. Go from the presence of a foolish man, when thou perceivest not in him the lips of knowledge. The wisdom of the prudent is to understand his way: but the folly of fools is deciet. Fools make a mock at sin: but among the righteous there is favour. The heart knoweth his own bitterness; and a stranger doth not intermeddle with his joy."

 - Proverbs 14: 5-10

"The backslider in heart shall be filled with his own ways: and a good man shall be satisfied from himself. The simple believeth every word: but the prudent man looketh well to his going. A wise man feareth, and departeth from evil: but the fool rageth, and is confident. He that is soon angry dealeth foolishly: and a man of wicked devices id hated. The simple inherit folly: but the prudent are crowned with knowledge. The evil bow before the good; and the wicked at the gates of righteousness."

- Proverbs 14: 14-19

"A true witness delivereth souls: but a deceitful witness speaketh lies."

- Proverbs 14: 25

"He that is slow to wrath is of great understanding: but he that is hasty of spirit exalteth folly."

- Proverbs 14: 29

If cleaning were a drug...

...I'd be addicted!

I am so lucky!

I am so lucky 

I have great friends - which I'd never trade and they deserve so much more than I can give.

I have a great church - a Godly family that loves me enough to tell me when I'm in the wrong.

I have a great pastor - who preaches the word directed by God's inspiration.

I have a great family - that helps me through life, and teaches me to be a better person.

and above all

I have a great savior! - He loves me through my faults and helps me find my true way.

There is nothing I would trade for any of these.

I will never abandon any of them, or let any slip out of my hands because of pride.

I love my friends, my church, my pastor, my family, and my savior, and I will do anything to keep them in my life, even if that means taking the blame or punishing myself. 

The things you cherish most, are the things you'd be willing to sacrifice yourself for.

In our secret place.

When I pray

I know you're here

That familiar silence

The inaudible words

The air around me thickens

You speak with passion

And it fills my very being

With human senses

I am oblivious

But my soul and spirit feel your every touch

Those words which drive my hunger

Yet quench my driest thirst

"I love you"

I feel it

It's almost tangible

The words explode around me

And when I respond in our secret tounge

You swarm my mind

Shut out human sounds and  leave 

only that same silence

That comforting peace

Thank you

Thank you

For all you take away

Because

for everything you do

is in demonstration

of those familiar words

Collectors Edition

I want to collect books!
(and everything book-ish. For example, bookmarks, library things, cool notebooks, book lights, book ends!....anything!)

I realized my love for them when I was at Barnes and Noble about 20 minutes ago and found myself wanting to buy EVERYTHING! I spent $100 there and I would willingly spend more if I could.

Books amaze me! They take me into another world, they keep me company when I am lonely at home, or bored. Everyone collects things...mostly relating to their talents. Well....my talent is brains! And, yes, being the nerd I am. I love to read. Non-stop. Sometimes I read so much I think my eyeballs will fall out!!

From here on out. If anyone ever wants to get me something. Let it be books! 

I'm going to put a list of the books I want, and have read. To keep track. Also so people can know what I like. :] 

I also like the idea of skoob points (Credit to Charity Wahler), that way you'll know what I would suggest to others!!!

I'm excited to start this lifelong endeavor!!

Sorry library....I may read your books, but it wont be long after until I buy it.

Disguising beauty.

My throat is dry,

my voice is small.

Water, water, the basic of life.

Where is this source, to quench the drought?

I see two wells.

One is lavished with jewels and riches.

The other is plain.

From where I stand, the waters of both look appetizing,

my intense thirst depleting my ability to judge.

As I walk closer, the beautiful well's water is tainted

the jewels distorted the light to make it look clean

but the plain well needs no distortion

the light seems to shine from the water

a luminescent liquid.

I take a cup of the shining water

and feel as if one sip has quenched me for eternity.

I see another traveler,

he feverishly gulps

trying to attain the beauty of the well from it's water

the empty promise.

He drinks until he is almost drowning in himself

his thirst is too great

and the water inadequate.

I call him over

and recall my journey

we once shared the same thirst.

He wants now to drink from the shining water

but his belly is too full!

A time to purge has come.

Regardless of the thirst, he drains the moisture from himself

to make room for the everlasting cup.

I see the comparison

of life to death

of outer beauty to inner beauty

Be weary of the beautiful well

for it disguises the tainted waters.

Be joyous of the plain well

because it has filled you forever.

I am a Protector.

INFJ to be exact ;]

My instinct is to mother,

to take charge over the lost.

To comfort the week.

And to protect who I love.

I will protect them, from the harms of this world,

as far as I am permitted.

I will shelter them from evils.

Do not come between me and those I love.

I will not stand to see the day when you and your manipulating ways will tear them apart and infect our unity.

With the blood of Jesus, and his Spirit living in me,

I will cover those around me with an impenetrable shield.

This is my prayer, that the blood may cover all whom I love, to keep them from spirits, and to give them a sensitivity to judge wisely a negative situation.

In the name of Jesus, I plead the Blood!!

Justice is unavoidable.

What you allow to seep into your mind,

Will seep into your heart.

What is in your heart,

will come out of your mouth.

What doesn't come out of your mouth,

will show through your actions.

No matter how long you think your mask will remain,

it will also fade.

You will in the end decieve yourself

by thinking your disguise is adequate.

All will see,

All will know.

Justice will prevail.

Sing unto the Lord a new song!

These excerpts are from songs performed and written by the band Wavorly. These songs (in my opinion) have very powerful messages and when I listen to them I am "pumped up" you could say, but in a spiritual way.

Their use of interesting metaphors catch your attention and have very biblical and strong messages. I would suggest this band to everyone!! :D

______________________________________

Oh, Father, my task I may dread
But as ransom, take me instead
Take heart now, my Son
Fear not for the dragon will not overcome
Your words may have swayed her before
But I died so she could have more
The Life that she now finds in Me
Is the tale of the dragon’s defeat 

-Tale of the dragon's defeat 

Sleeper, no deeper
Lift your eyes
Awake from dreaming
Sleeper, arise and you will find life
The answer is in Me

Sleeper, arise and you will find life
You will find life when you give your life away 

-Sleeper

Endless Day, no further away
Where present day will never end
I will run with no pain in my side
All shadows left behind
For what it’s worth
In a space so different
The gray of home could never compare
Undeserving rescue
Offers me escape from despair
Where light comes from another source
And choice spans such a Great Divorce
Is the balance shifting?
Are my burdens lifting?
Spirit coming to Life
Watching, Waiting
Further up, and further in 

-Endless Day

As I travel down this road
I wonder if I should turn home
All this time I’ve felt alone
My head in my hands
Where were You when I was in need?
And I look back to find You chasing me
Sometimes I try and I miss the point of it
It’s about time we die…we’re not down here for us
As You’re tearing down this house
There is only one thing I can say
I’m so glad You take away
And I’ll admit things worked out for the good
And it’s about time I understood 

-Time I understood

Whachu talkin 'bout Willis??

On Monday April 5th 2010, the McGuire family added one more to the mix.

An 8 lbs 8month old baby boy named willis!

He is my new puppy!

He is a schnoodle (scnauser poodle mix!)

hes ADORABLE!

except taking care of a puppy is basically the same as taking care of a child.

its going to be an interesting ride....but im SO looking forward to it! 

:D

Operation de-junk!

This process has been taking place for many months.

Recently it has consisted of the removal of Facebook!

I can honestly say that, it has been absolutely wonderful.

I have more time for other things.

I don't have to pay attention to other peoples drama.

In today's society, we all feel like it is necessary to know everything about one another in order to hold a friendship.

When we were all kids, we appreciated everything so much more because there were things we didn't know! Things we didn't need to know.

I'm so glad i got rid of my facebook. It has brought nothing but good to me.

I don't need to know so much about everyone to feel close.

And frankly, I don't think people need to know that much about me!

Anyone reading this and feeling even the slightest bit of agreement, I assure you, deleting your facebook will not make your world collapse. The people who truly matter to you, will keep in contact whether you have it or not.

We managed it for 15 years of our lives. What makes it so different now?

The more that delete, the easier it will seem. It makes it easier if you get a friend to do it with you!

Something shouldn't be considered the primary source of connection. We have simply become too dependant on electronic communication.

It's like that song..."going back to the basics of life"

:]

If God before me, none can be against me.

When will doubt disappear?

When will fear be defeated?

When will I realize that I have already won?

You can't deceive me anymore.

You can't control me without even lifting a finger.

My expectations are met, and you can try as hard as you want, but what is mine, will stay mine.

So go ahead. 

Give me your best shot, your hardest attempt to take from me what is mine and wants to stay mine.

But you will fail. 

Every time.

Dividers of the people will be companion-less.

The evils of separation will not stand.

Because we are united, and strong against the enemy.

So this is for you, whose identity is known by all.

You are defeated before you even plan to attack.

You will be stomped under my feet. 

Deep down back to where you will remain for eternity.

To who?

To you: 

-my earthly confidant.

-who keeps a smile on my face.

-who helps me in my time of need.

-who deals with everything I am.

-the balance of my nonsense.

-the one who always laughs at my jokes.

-the one who's jokes I always laugh at.

-the relief of my eyes.

-the relief of my ears.

-the softness I can approach with anything.

-the trust I can confide in.

-the one who has been there forever.
-the one I love dearly.

This goes out to you. The only you.

-my best friend. 

13 years and it's only gotten better.

And better is still yet to come.

Walk with diligence: Pride aside.

Each of us on this Earth have paths to take.

There is the path of salvation, yet within that supreme path, there are other paths.

Paths for this carnal life. Paths to keep us in our bodies healthy, and happy.

There are many pathmakers.

The most important: God.

And the rest, whether they may be preachers, doctors, educators, or parents.

In this life, at different points, someone may create a personal path for you to achieve, health, knowledge, or a better self.

These people create your path with specialized expertise, and in the mindset of your interest.

To achieve your specific goal, you must follow that path, step by step, all the way to the end.

This is the ideal path.

But there is always that other path, that you create yourself, thinking you know best, and expecting the same results at the end.

This, my friends, is what we call, learning the hard way.

You can't stray from the path and only come back for the stops.

And you can't deviate only a little, because, you may eventually reach the end of that path, but the pathmaker in your situation will know what you have done.

Do not stray from your path! You may not like it, and it may put a slight inconvenience on your life, but the end result will be worth it.

If you do stray from your path (and in most cases, this act of straying is completely intentional, due to self pride) do not feel you have the liberty to blame your pathmaker and their creation because their promises did not follow through. Or feel you have the liberty to complain about the hardships you face because of your deviation.

Do not put the hardships of your path onto other people. They have their own path, and you may not know what they are going through. Deal with your path, on your own, it was designed that way.

You may be promised great things, or even just progress, at a certain time, but if you have deviated from your path, you will most certainly not see that progress at the alotted time.

Promises take 2 people.

The promise maker may make a judgment based on facts and give you an ultimatum saying you will see results if and only if you follow their instruction. If you do not, the pathmaker is not to blame.

You are!

Bottom line. 

Stick to your own path, and be diligent, because that is the ONLY

way to achieve success.

He knew she had brown eyes.

:]

Reminders

I love it when smells and songs bring back times in life.

Like the smell of bonfire reminds me of summer.

How certain shampoo reminds me of camp.

It's so amazing how little things can bring you back mentally.

You feel the same contentment as you did then.

To those who...

Brighten my life.

Are always there to make me laugh.

 

Who make me a better person.

 

Who always seem to agree and understand with just one look

 

For those who have been through my worst times.

 And to those who can laugh with me about nothing for hours and move to a deep conversation

You have all been every one of those things to me, and I am so blessed for it.

Thank You. All of you, for being true friends all the time.

Some of you have known me since early childhood, and some are recent developments. But each one of you are very special to me, and I cherish you guys!

I love you all!!

Today is...

-The anniversary of my parents wedding!

-The last day of the shortest month!

-The beginning of a crazy week!

-A day when the beautiful sunshine outweighs the coldness of winter.

-A day to celebrate Jesus with all my brothers, and sisters in the Lord.

-A day to appreciate the quietness of an empty home. (In reference to the first remark)

-Today is a day that God gave us another chance!

Today is a day to embrace!

Today is the day for life.

Friendship is a two way street.

Friends are not something that you deserve, or just get out of nowhere.

You have to earn friendships.

Sure you can be friendly with acquaintances, but that is a shallow politeness.

Real friends are people you connect with on a deep level and have a mutual understanding with.

-MUTUAL UNDERSTANDING!-

What that doesn't mean is:

-complaining about something your "friend" did, yet when you do the exact same thing, and when your "friends" point it out, you get upset and say they are unreasonable.

- making your "friends" feel like your problems are somehow their fault and expect them to do something about it.

- expecting something out of your "friends" that you wouldn't do yourself.

Friends are not something that starts at full trust and degrades when they "do something wrong"

-No-

Friends start a a base level and work their way up.

Usually that entails being nice to them.

There is a point of trust and connection that  yes, maybe you can vent, and complain, but that is not what friendship is for.

Yes, when your down, your friends should be there.

BUT

if you are taking your frustrations out on them, and becoming less of a friend and more like a therapy patient, that connection becomes one way.

You can't take advantage of someone who is close to you, by dumping all your crap on them and expecting them to do something about it, when you and they know they cant. When something is a personal problem that only you can fix, when you vent to your friends, all your doing is venting for the sake of hearing your own voice.

A real friend is someone who tries to genuinely help you by telling you what you need to hear rather than what you want to hear. That means, your a nice about it, and genuine. That doesn't mean:

-give them a guilt trip

-make them feel bad about themselves

or

- put yourself on a pedestal and have the "mightier than thou"  attitude.

because if you do that, your not giving them advice, you are unjustly judging them.

A real friend is someone who allows their friends to help them, and trusts them enough to  take their advice and maybe change some things.

    -Not get mad and react by thinking that person is trying to say your wrong and is attacking your life.

A real friend is an addition to your life. A privilege. Not a deserved necessity.

Your friends are there for you no matter what, but it is not one way.

You need to show the same respect and tolerance to your friends as they do to you.

You should never ever expect something out of your friends that you do not yourself do.

When your "frienship" gets to a point where one person is essentially hurting someone elses life and other relationships, that "friendship" is no longer a "friendship".

People need to stop being delusional about their lives, and man up to their own problems.

There is a difference between being there for a friend who's having a hard time, and complaining so much that the other person feels completely helpless in the situation and is afraid to even say anything because nothing is good enough. That is unacceptable.

So whenever you are feeling like your friends are betraying you, or may not be the best you expect.

Look at yourself and think....."Maybe there not being crazy...maybe, just maybe I am doing something to make them react like this."

Because if we were ever your friends at any point, that means your not completely crazy and untrustworthy.

We are not all bad people who don't understand, just sometimes we need to change some things in ourselves for a friendship to work.

Friendship is a two way street.

You can't expect your friends to change to fit you.

You need to change with your friends, and work things out civilly.

You will never change people, and if your true friends see a problem arising, they will tell you nicely, and if that person chooses not to change themselves to save a near and dear friendship.

Then are they really as good a friend as you thought?

- of course, you can't expect them to change something unrealistic about their lives to make you happy, thats not what I'm talking about.-

Being best friends doesn't mean you can take advantage of the fact that they will listen to you.

They are not your therapist. They are your friend.

That means, you try your hardest to keep them happy, and not pour your personal life situations on them, because it is not their burden to bear.

Somethings wrong, when an entire relationship becomes one trying to keep the other happy or the friendship will fail. 

Dear Snow,

I'm really sorry to have to say this....but....I think it's time that we take a break.

-A long one-

I do love you, don't get me wrong, but right now...this just isn't working out for me.

I'm sure you understand. I don't know what went wrong, you used to be so beautiful, and pure...now your all wishy washy, and turning to brown mush. I'm totally not into that.

I think this break will be good for you too!

You know, you can take a break from working so hard, and have a vacation!

Maybe after a while we can...you know rekindle the fire? Well....that may not be the best idea for you, but you know what I mean. Don't take it personally. It happens to the best of us.

Sincerely,

The entire population of Western New York.

Psalm 145

"The LORD is gracious, and full of compassion; slow to anger, and of great mercy. The LORDis good to all: and his tender mercies are over all his works."

Sometimes life isn't what you want it to be.

Sometimes people arent who you want them to be.

Sometimes you arent who you want to be.

But there is one who will ALWAYS be what you need and want.

Lately I've been having a really hard time letting go of things. Maybe it's because I grew up with a lot of hard-headed italians, or maybe it's because sadly, I have gone through things that I with I never have, and frankly, I have my insecurities. I'm not making a pity party for myself because there are definitely people who have had harder times, but this post isn't for my troubles, it's for my victories. Within the past couple of months, a lot of things have been slowly but surely happening to me.

I have been:

Feeling convicted - not guilty

Letting go - but not forgetting

Remembering - but only enough to remind me of who truly helped me through

Forgiving - even though it may not be deserved

Because, I don't deserve the life I have. No one does.

Not one person in this entire world deserves what they have, whether it be small or large.

Jesus is the only deserving one, and he loves us enough to pour out his grace and allow yet another chance.

I can't imagine what a disappointment I must have been at times, but I am beyond thankful that he waited just long enough for me to get back on track.

Today is the final step of realization as to who I want to be, and where I'm going.....in a sense.

I may not know what job I will have, or who I will marry, or when my life will really start.

But I do know that today is the day that the Lord has made, and I finally know how to fully show my appreciation for the simplicity of even waking up.

Tomorrow is the future, which I am  ever looking towards, but today is the most important day of my life.

and whenever today might be - it will always be the most important day of my life.

The Birth and Death of the Day

I wrote this as a response to the song "The Birth and Death of the Day" by Explosions in the Sky. Whenever I hear that song it's like an entire universe explodes in my mind, and I can see so many things. This is a very uplifting and emotional song. I decided to write down what i felt, or heard or saw as the song progressed. As you can see I embedded the song here so when you read this please listen and try to see where you can put the words with the music. That is my goal. To translate what I experience when i hear this, to you. :] Enjoy!

____________________________________________________________

a whisper of change

the firmament

the seas

the explosion of light

the dawn of the day is creeping

the earth takes form

the beginning of life

i see a peace

through the blades of grass

i see the harmony begin

i hear the wind in the birds wings

i hear the rushing waters

the chain expands

the circle of life spins

but where is the master?

he is above and within

glorying in his creation

he is singing with the process

stepping back to see one missing piece

a handfull of dust

formed to a likeness

breathe

form

life sprung in perfection

and here we start

the spiral of life

twirling through the years

inventing and mastering the arts

beauty from everything

the master's handiwork continues to blossom

we reach a peak

at the brightest sun

fading into a blissful sleep

this is a new beginning

the means to an end

slowly mystery creeps

and yet the master knows

where is the need to mend

My New Friend/The Emerald Virtue

I always find myself with alot of things to say and not many people to talk to about it, so I'm considering this blog my new diary. 

-Lately, after a recent book I read, I've been very interested in the virtues of stones. 

I chose the Emerald stone for my title because its virtue is to protect lovers from unfaithfulness. If the heart was loyal, the gem would glow in a beautiful green color, but if the heart was went astray, it would turn a different, lifeless color. In addition, it was believed that wearing an Emerald would improve one’s memory and intelligence, enabling one to think clearly about the past, present, and future.

-This stone reminds me of what we, as christians, should strive for: to always be faithful to our Creator, and let his virtue improve our wisdom on decisions in the future.

- To help us think clearly,

and to most of all, let our light shine strong.